i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize