Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
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