Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Quick, to the slutcave!
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize