My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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