Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
