so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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