Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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