put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
