Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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