Banned from zoo.
Again?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
