I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
