The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
