Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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