...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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