this beer tastes like vomit already
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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