If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize