I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
