do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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