Got a toothbrush?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
