All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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