drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
