Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize