There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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