i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
