I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
the room spins SO much faster in panama
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
