i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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