hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
This is classic penis vs brain.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
