Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
