I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
