Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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