So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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