Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
