I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
