How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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