i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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