how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
