let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize