No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
