i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
