Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
