Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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