I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
