it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
