Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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