First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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