2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Non-Jews are for practice
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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