thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Everclear isn't food dammit
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
