We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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