So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
