He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
