He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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