We need to start having sex underwater more often.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
