I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
