Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
