I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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