he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Randomize
