She's JV to your varsity
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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