sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
