Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
