i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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